He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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