Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
