he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a squirter
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize