I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In other news, I just burned my penis
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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