dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
