can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize