your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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