I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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