Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
