You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
