But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just made out with a guy for $7.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
