imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
