So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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