We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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