1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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