I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
