I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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