so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
