wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
