I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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