if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
