It's Friday. Sex?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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