Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
