im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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