Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
