New low: just hacked my moms facebook
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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