I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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