yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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