She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
