spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
