I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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