relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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