I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
