...so i touched it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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