umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
