So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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