i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
