You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
