I don't think brook has ever known best
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
