just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize