We need to rekindle our bromance
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
NoShamevember. You game?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can you bring me the toilet please
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
