Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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