Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
