i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
