There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
