So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
honey bunches of taint.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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