i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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