my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize