You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
