They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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