i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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