Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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