Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
