But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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