Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize