I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize