My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
