honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
