just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
