I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
