I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't put those talents on a resume
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
